Are Stay-At-Home Dads a Threat to Children in Playgroups?

The At-Home Dad Newsletter recently reported an issue where a stay at home dad was banned from a children’s playgroup for “security” reasons. He had actually joined the group and was a member for some time, when the other group members took a vote and decided to ban him. The reason they cited was that he was a “security risk” to the the other children.

How absurd!

Now it’s true that he was the only dad in the group, but I fail to see how that makes him a threat to the other children. Dads aren’t inherently bad.

Look, if the group wanted it to be “mommies” only, so they could bond together as women and as moms or something, then okay. At least that would be understandable.

But to accuse the guy of being some kind of creep who’s going to do something threatening to their kids? Please…

The good news is that the original founder of the playgroup is siding with the dad. They’ve reported the issue to the local newspaper, and plan to form a separate playgroup that will be open to both moms and dads.

After all, it’s important that we dads play an active role in our children’s lives, both in and out of the home.

So what do you think about situations like this? Please share your comments below.

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Tags: Playgroup, Safety, Stay At Home Dad

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Stephen Connolly

Who needs playgroups? I live in Chicago and for half of the year I go to local parks and hang out with whomever shows up. Totally ad hoc. I talk to everyone and have occasionally run into snide comments from the "not safe!" brigade. Moms will sometimes step in to "protect" my kids from non-threatening playground explorations.

the winter's a different story but my 4 year-old twins are in preschool and I can take my 2 year-old shopping or to the library.

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Jon

@Stephen Connolly -
That's a good point. To me it's the principal of it. I can also see how a single dad might use it as a way to make friendships with other primary caregivers. Either way, it was wrong of them to exclude him. But in the end, hanging out at the park,etc., might be the most practical solution.

Thanks!

Shane Lashley

Very glad to hear the leader is siding with the dad, taking it to the media and forming a new group. Those are the kinds of solutions needed for this kind of problem. It's not just the dad that suffers. The kids also suffer. Depending on their age, kids can often pick up on this sort of trouble but still lack the maturity to interpret what they are sensing. They pick up a message that something is wrong with dad. The moms really blew it here. While I think their decision reflects some tendencies of many people, I won't try to generalize this to the entire population of moms. I think many moms appreciate an active and responsible male in the crowd.

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Jon

Originally Posted By Shane Lashley
The moms really blew it here. While I think their decision reflects some tendencies of many people, I won’t try to generalize this to the entire population of moms. I think many moms appreciate an active and responsible male in the crowd.

I'm sure you're right that many moms appreciate when dads get involved. Let's hope they're the majority.

Jon

Some of you have raised a good point, because it's possible there's more involved than we know.

Perhaps he was a silent member for too long (who wasn't attending in-person events) and that spooked the other moms?

Regardless, it's unfortunate that other dads feel they've had similar experiences. You'd think more women would be supportive of dad's who get involved and/or raise their children. Although to be fair, let's not stereotype all woman either.

There must be moms out there who are supportive of dads in situations like this... right?

Melanie

Freddy, you're right, women do have seriously prejudiced ideas against men. I wouldn't have believed it until recently when I accepted a challenge from a man to go into a chatroom as a male. I couldn't believe how women stereotype! They knew nothing about me (obviously) but assumed that if I was a stay at home dad, I must be emasculated somehow. I'm glad I'm a woman, but that experience opened my eyes.

I'd like to hear more on this story....I'm curious if these women gave any reasons more specific than 'he's a security risk'. That's a laughable reason, even if they had something legitimate. Then again, if it were legitimate, you'd think they'd have been more specific.

I think my head is spinning now from nonsense.

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Jessica

Isn't that discrimination? Doesn't the dad, if he wanted to go through the trouble, have the right to sue? I really wish he would do that to make a lesson of them. That really isn't fair.

Lane Reiss

I am a stay-at-home dad and I go every week to my 2 1/2 year-old daughter's gym activity class. I am almost always the only adult male there. Many of the women engage each other in regular conversation, and I hear them making plans for playdates outside of the class. I have yet to join in on one of these playdates with my daughter. I can certainly tell there is a gap between myself and the other mothers, and I'm sure my sex is a factor.

I'd like to learn more about this particular case, because I find it interesting that he was in the group for a while, and THEN they voted him out for security reasons. Was it simply because he's a male, or because of his behavior. It's easy to jump to conclusions here.

Lane

Freddy Bendell

As a single parent who raised two kids by himself for 12 years, let me tell you that I ran into this prejudice time and time again. Women are the most sexist people on the planet. Some expressed pity for my kids because they had to cope with being raised by a man. What crap.

I did fine and my kids are now fully grown, parents themselves, and successful in their lives.

To hell with all those 'sympathetic' ladies with their anti-male prejudices.

Reya

Absurd is absolutely right! What gets me is not just one ignorant woman decided, they all voted him out. Then again, if he'd been there for some time, perhaps there's something we don't know about his behavior?

Are Stay-At-Home Dads a Threat to Children in Playgroups?

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