The Lazy Dad’s Guide for Effective Discipline

You’re a dad. You need to discipline your kids. However you just don’t have the time to deal with your child’s bad attitude right now.

Sound familiar?

We’ve all been there. Dad’s are busy these days. Even when you devote lots of time to the family, the fact remains that we dads tend to have a lot on our plate. Everyone’s situation is different, but most dads juggle a job, home maintenance, bills, the family, car maintenance, friends, etc.

There’s a lot of stuff in our lives that demand our time and attention.

Can’t a dad just enjoy the game for once? Can’t the kids behave just once on a Sunday afternoon?

Nope. You’re a dad. They’re kids. It’s their job to drive you nuts and misbehave at the worst possible time.

So ideally, you’ll discover a way to discipline your children in the most effective and efficient way possible. I call this the “lazy dad’s way” to discipline his children.

Avoidance

This isn’t what you think it is. I’m not saying to avoid disciplining your kids, rather you should avoid the need to discipline them, especially with younger children. Young kids are like dogs in that they misbehave when they have pent up energy. It’s a sad comparison, but so very true.

If you make sure your kids work off some of that energy ahead of time, you can avoid a lot of misbehavior for the rest of the day.

When your kids are older, you send them outside to play by themselves, siblings, or friends. But younger children need supervision when outdoors, and if you’re having a busy (or lazy) day, you may not be giving your children an outlet for that energy.

If you make sure your kids work off some of that energy ahead of time, you can avoid a lot of misbehavior for the rest of the day.

My wife and I used to punish our daughter’s misbehavior by saying she couldn’t go to the playground. Big mistake! When she starts to get ornery is the time we need to make her go to the playground, so she can work off some of that pent up energy toddler’s have an abundance of.

So here’s the lazy way out… roughhouse with your kids or take them to the park for 30 minutes, and enjoy improved behavior the rest of the day

Find Out What Works

Every kid is different, and even with the same kid, some discipline works one day and not the other. In order to truly discipline your kids, you need to make sure the punishment is bad enough so that it actually curbs the behavior.

Every kid has a button you can push, you just need to find it.

Some kids could sit in time-out all day and could care less. Some kids don’t mind missing desert. Some kids are so stubborn that even a good spanking wouldn’t stop their behavior.

Yet every kid has a button you can push, you just need to find it. Sounds like a lot of work, and it might be at first as you discover what works. But once you figure out what works for your kid, the lazy dad can relax, because the discipline will work quicker to resolve the bad behavior. Meaning you won’t have to discipline your kid as often

Consistency

The worst thing you can do if you want to take the lazy way out is to be inconsistent. Kids will pick up on this in a heartbeat, and then they’ll test your limits constantly.

The worst thing you can do is be inconsistent. Kids will pick up on this in a heartbeat and test your limits.

Olivia knows that if I start counting to three, if I actually get to the number three, she’s going to time-out. Even if she starts complying the moment I say three, it’s too late. So most of the time, when I start counting, she’s complying by the time I say “one” or “two.”

Which is perfect for me (a bona fide lazy dad myself) because it’s a lot easier to get her to behave by saying “one… two…” than it is to actually have to take her to time out. Also because I don’t nag her about behaving, she doesn’t test my limits nearly as often.

So consistency will help reduce the amount and intensity of the discipline required to correct the behavior.

Heaven or Hell

This is a tough one for most dads, but in my opinion, this is the best way to ensure your kids behave themselves. It works like this:

If the kids are being good, then life is good. You are a fun dad and your kids will enjoy your presence.
If the kids are being naughty, then watch out! You are anything but fun, and you make sure that your kids are miserable.

Ensure that your home is heaven on earth when the kids are good, and hell on earth when they’re bad.

I call this the “heaven or hell” approach. Ensure that your home is heaven on earth when the kids are good, and hell on earth when they’re bad.

The reason many dads have trouble with this is because they tend to favor one or the other. Meaning a lot of dads are great at making life “hell on earth” for their misbehaving kids, but fail to make things “heaven” when their behavior is good. Or vice versa.

Obviously you never want to go overboard here. “Heaven” doesn’t mean you spoil your child, and “hell” doesn’t mean you’re abusive to them.

Here’s an example of how we utilize this in our home…

When Olivia is being good, I make sure to speak kindly to her. I try to smile at her at times when we make eye contact. I’ll be more inclined to let her do fun things, and maybe even a reward or two (such as letting her watch cartoons for a bit).

When Olivia is being bad, then my voice is much more stern. I don’t smile and will refuse to play with her. If she asks to do something fun—like watching cartoons—I’ll more than likely refuse the request. She knows that Dad is serious and that things aren’t very fun around the house.

In a nutshell, this is rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior. But it goes beyond normal discipline to the mood you project to your kids.

Conclusion

As a lazy dad, the key is to do everything possible to discourage bad behavior in the first place. It might seem like more work, but it’s really not.

(It’s like paying the bills on time… because if you don’t, you’ll have to deal with phone calls and late fees, plus you’ll still have to pay the bills. Same thing with disciplining your kids.)

So to recap:

Help your child avoid bad behavior.
When your kid is bad, find out what works for discipline, so that you get the best results in the shortest amount of time.
Be consistent with the rules and with your discipline, so that your kid knows that you “mean it” and will tend to listen better.
Make the home heaven when they behave, and hell when they don’t. Reward the good behavior, and punish the bad.