One of the first decisions your pregnant wife will have to make is finding a doctor. This will be the doctor who does all the prenatal checkups and will deliver the baby.
The doctor she chooses will become a partner with the two of you throughout the pregnancy, and you’ll depend on him/her for critical information and advice. So this is an important decision.
It’s critical for you, the dad, to become a part of the team along with your wife and her doctor. Therefore you need to help advise and encourage your wife as she makes this decision.
Here are some considerations that may help:
Does your wife want a traditional hospital birth? Does she want a home birth with a midwife?
This is an important decision for you and your wife. If you want a traditional birth in a hospital, then you can go about finding the doctor of your choice. If you want to use a midwife, then you’ll need to find the midwife first, and then work with them to find a doctor that will support your choice.
If you’re looking for a midwife, please make sure your wife continues to get prenatal checkups at your family clinic.
Which hospital does your wife want to give birth in?
In recent years, many hospitals have catered to pregnant women by revamping their maternity wards. They have expanded and remodeled birthing rooms, full suites capable of housing the immediate family during the hospital stay, etc.
Some doctors will only deliver your baby in certain hospitals and not others. Therefore if you want a specific hospital, you’ll need to find a doctor that works with that hospital.
Which doctors work with your health insurance?
Many health insurance policies have a list of approved physicians. You’ll need to make sure to obtain that list, and make sure the doctor you choose is approved, otherwise the pregnancy and birth may not be fully covered.
Is your wife comfortable with a male doctor?
There are a lot of highly qualified male doctors and OB/GYN’s out there, but some women just aren’t comfortable with the idea of a male doctor. There’s no doubt about it, when your wife is getting some examinations, and especially during the delivery itself, she will be exposed.
My wife thought long and hard about it, and she decided that she just was not comfortable having any men in the room during her delivery except for me. So in our case, Shan chose a female doctor.
Will your doctor be going on vacation on your wife’s due date?
Most people think to ask, but you’ll need to be firm on this. You can help your wife by bluntly asking the question to your doctor “What is your schedule around my wife’s due date? Do you have any vacations or conferences scheduled?“
This is a common nightmare situation, that your primary doctor is gone when your wife goes into labor, and it does happen. My wife’s doctor told us a month before she was due that something had come up, and she would be out of town for an extended weekend around Shan’s due date!
Do your best to clarify schedules up front.
This caused all sorts of emotional turmoil for my wife, and she had to choose a backup doctor, which wasn’t easy. Then her second choice had a conflict on the due date itself, and she had to go through the emotional effort to pick her third choice. Remember, she was around 8 months pregnant at that time!
In the end, Olivia was one week late, so our primary doctor was available and performed the delivery. Whew! Except the hassle and turmoil this caused my wife was unfortunate.
You can’t avoid this completely, because your doctor can’t plan everything 10 months in advance, but you can do your best to clarify schedules up front.
Find her a doctor!
Keeping all those considerations in mind, start asking around and get recommendations for a doctor. Meet with the ones that are highly recommended, and don’t be afraid to tell your wife what your opinion is. Just remember that she is the one who is pregnant, so ultimately it’s her decision.
Tags: Doctor, Health Care, Heathcare, Hospital, Pregnancy, Pregnant, The New Dad's Survival Guide
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